Chapter 189: Academy Heroine's Right Diagonal Back Seat
Chapter 189
Yoon Si-woo stood before me, his head bowed, apologizing, saying he was sorry.
But I knew the truth.
Who was really at fault here?
Yoon Si-woo, who was right in front of me?
Of course not.
The one at fault was me.
No one else—I was the one who had done everything wrong.
So, thinking I was the one who needed to apologize, I hurriedly bowed my head, almost burying it in the ground, and apologized frantically.
“N-no... I’m sorry... I’m the one who’s sorry…”
From the beginning, I knew that Yoon Si-woo would never act with bad intentions toward me.
I should have known that whatever he did, it was for my sake.
But what had I done to him?
I got upset for no reason, hurt, and lashed out.
Maybe I was being punished for my wrongdoings.
The guilt in my chest had been hurting since a little while ago.
The sharp words I had recklessly thrown at Yoon Si-woo came back like a boomerang, tearing my heart apart.
What disappointment, what betrayal?
The emotions I had directed at Yoon Si-woo had turned into self-loathing, sticking to me like tar.
I was a monster who had almost killed a friend, and now I had hurt someone else as well.
I was nothing more than trash.
I felt so disgusted with myself that I could barely breathe. Trembling, I kept apologizing.
“I’m sorry... I’m so sorry for getting angry when I knew nothing... I’m sorry for yelling... I’m really sorry... I’m so, so sorry…”
Droplets of water fell onto the floor.
The droplets falling from my bowed head splashed and wet the tips of Yoon Si-woo’s shoes.
Tears from a piece of trash like me must be as filthy as their owner.
Fearing that my dirty tears might touch Yoon Si-woo more, I quickly lifted my head, which had been bowed in front of him.
In Yoon Si-woo’s eyes, I saw my own face reflected.
A face twisted with guilt and smeared with tears.
And the look on Yoon Si-woo’s face as he watched me was one of sheer pain.
Suddenly, a conversation I’d had with Florene crossed my mind.
She’d said that if I smiled, the people around me would be happy too.
But that would mean the opposite must also be true, right?
When I looked at Yoon Si-woo again with that thought, a bitter laugh escaped me.
Yoon Si-woo, looking at me crying, appeared as if he were the most miserable person in the world.
That’s right.
I was a cursed being that spread only misfortune, never happiness, to those around me.
I wondered if my very existence was a mistake.
I didn’t want to cause trouble for others.
But if my mere existence was a nuisance...
Then it would be better if I just—
“...Miss Scarlet?”
At that moment, Sylvia’s voice called out to me.
Turning my gaze towards her voice, I saw her hand glowing faintly with starlight as it rested on my head.
As I stared blankly at her, captivated by that light, Sylvia spoke to me with a worried expression.
“It’s a calming spell... I was worried the spirit’s power might have a bad effect on you, so I hesitated to use it, but you seemed so unwell just now... Are you okay?”
I stood there, dazed, checking my condition at her words, then slowly nodded.
I was okay.
No, to be more precise, I realized that I hadn’t been okay just a moment ago.
Had I really been that overwhelmed?
The thought of how mentally exhausted I had been was almost frightening.
If I had stayed in that state any longer, I might have made an extreme choice.
I shuddered slightly and looked at Sylvia, then bowed my head slightly in thanks.
“...Thank you. I think I’m better now, thanks to you. Um, if you don’t mind, could you stay like this for a bit longer?”
“Ah, yes! Of course!”
Thinking I still needed the help of her spell a little longer, I made the request, and Sylvia nodded, agreeing to my plea.
With the starlight twinkling from her hand on my head, I felt the turbulent emotions that had been raging inside me gradually calm down.
My mind, which had been clouded and dark like a sky full of storm clouds, was starting to clear.
As I felt Yoon Si-woo’s gaze on me, I turned toward him and saw him watching me with a worried expression.
I still felt a sense of guilt, but it wasn’t as intense as it had been moments before.
I knew I needed to apologize, so I bowed my head slightly and spoke.
“...Sorry, I wasn’t in a good state earlier. I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s okay.”
Even as he accepted my apology, Yoon Si-woo still looked apologetic.
I gave a small, bitter smile.
How could I lift his spirits?
After thinking for a moment, I spoke again.
“And, thank you for caring. I think I would’ve had a harder time if I’d heard what happened.”
“N-no. There’s nothing to thank me for.”
“Anyway, you did it for my sake, right? Thank you.”
“...Yeah.”
Yoon Si-woo’s face turned a little red as if embarrassed, but he seemed a bit relieved by my words of gratitude, as his expression softened noticeably.
Seeing that, I felt a bit more at ease and let out a small smile.
Then I saw Yoon Si-woo smile faintly as well.
At that moment, Sylvia’s somewhat sulky voice came from beside us.
“…Yoon Si-woo, what are you smiling about? After making such a big mistake.”
At the word “mistake,” both Yoon Si-woo and I turned to look at Sylvia.
With one hand still resting on my head, Sylvia crossed her arms and gave Yoon Si-woo a sharp look, muttering.
“If something like that happened, you should have at least told me, even if not Scarlet. We agreed to discuss everything related to her together. You’re guilty.”
“Ah, well, that’s...”
Yoon Si-woo stammered, looking flustered.
Seeing his bewildered expression, I let out a small laugh, and Sylvia turned to me with a slightly exasperated look.
“…Miss Scarlet, you’re not completely blameless either. It looks like Yoon Si-woo knew a lot, but why didn’t you tell me anything? Do you not trust me?”
At her slightly sulky tone, I quickly shook my head.
“…It’s not that I don’t trust you.”
“Then what is it? You always draw a line whenever I try to get closer, and you reject my help even when I offer. I’d like you to tell me the reason clearly.”
She looked at me intently as she asked, and I gave a bitter smile.
I realized something then.
No matter how much I tried to push her away, she would keep coming back.
Seeing how she clung to me, refusing to let go unless I explained, I decided to share a bit of what was on my mind.
“…As you saw today, I have a lot of issues. Sylvia, you’re kind and gentle, so the closer you get to me, the more it’ll hurt you later.”
“…So, you tried to keep your distance from me on purpose?”
As I gave a wry smile in affirmation, Sylvia glanced at me with a displeased expression and muttered.
“…Did you know, Miss Scarlet, that you’re being really selfish?”
“Selfish?”
“Yes. You’re so considerate of others that you end up not thinking about how they might feel. You’re extremely selfish.”
Her words made me flinch.
It was the same thing a junior of mine had told me once when I used to work at a company.
I remembered a time when our team had taken on a major project.
A huge opportunity if successful.
But with insufficient manpower and time, everyone had to give their all to get it done on time, uncertain if we could make it.
How many nights had I worked overtime?
I think I didn’t go home for about two to three weeks straight.
Even when others worried and told me to go home and rest, I stubbornly insisted I was fine and that I needed to finish the job first.
We managed to complete the project on time, but I ended up bedridden with a severe cold from the overwork.
With no family to look after me, I suffered alone until, unexpectedly, one of my juniors showed up, loaded with food and supplies to check on me.
I suddenly recalled our conversation from back then.
---
“Excuse me.”
“...Huh...? How did you get here...?”
“How else? I was worried when I heard you were sick, so I came. You should’ve rested when I told you to... Did you have to make me worry and take time out of my schedule to visit your house? You’re such a hassle.”
“Haha… Yeah, I guess so. Sorry, I caused you trouble without meaning to.”
“Ugh, whatever. Jeez, look at this fever... You’re already busy with your own work, and yet you had to take on tasks for the other team too, no wonder you collapsed...”
“Well, there was no one else who knew how to do that work. But still, I had to go when they said his parents had been in an accident.”
“Even so… Who in this day and age cares so much about other people? Are you a pushover?”
“A pushover? I wouldn’t do this for someone I don’t like. He’s a good guy, and he always took care of his parents. He looked devastated when he heard about the accident; how could I just ignore that?”
“Unbelievable. You’re so soft-hearted. One day, someone might ask for your liver or kidneys, and you’d probably smile and give them away.”
“Well, if it’s really necessary for them, I might consider it...”
“Crazy... You would actually do it, wouldn’t you? It’s scary how you’re like this in today’s world…”
“Haha… I’m kidding, I’m kidding.”
“…More importantly, why didn’t you ask me for help? You always said you were fine, even when I offered to help, and now look at you, lying sick in bed... You take care of everyone else, but why can’t you take care of yourself?”
“…You were busy with your own work. How could I ask you to help when you were barely sleeping, with those dark circles under your eyes… I knew you were struggling too, so I thought it was better for me to tough it out.”
“…You know what? You’re really selfish.”
“…Am I?”
“Yes, extremely. You try so hard not to bother others that you don’t even think about how they might feel. Do you know how much I blamed myself for not insisting on helping when I heard you were sick...?”
“…Maybe. That’s just how I am. I can’t stand seeing others struggle because of me, so I didn’t think about how you’d feel. I’m sorry…”
“…Didn’t I tell you so many times that women don’t like having their hair touched? Stop patting my head like that.”
“Ah, sorry… It’s a habit... I’ll be careful next time...”
“…You don’t have to be careful with me. I’m used to it now. But don’t do it to other women. Ever.”
“…Got it. Anyway, thanks for coming. I was out of food, and you saved me. I’ll take care of the rest, so you can go home and rest now.”
“…Go home? After I came all this way to check on you?”
“…? You must be tired from work. You should go home and rest.”
“…You’re selfish and completely clueless. How did I end up with a person like you... Fine, I’m leaving. Take care of yourself.”
---
I ended up here shortly after that, and I wonder how he’s doing now.
We had met in college, and he ended up joining the same company I did. We were pretty close.
He was like a younger brother to me, always warm and friendly, and we got along well.
I wondered what had happened to my real self back in the world. How would my old self have ended up?
No matter what, I just hoped that he would be okay and not be too sad about my disappearance.
As I was lost in those memories, I met Sylvia’s gaze.
She moved a little closer, and as our eyes met, she whispered softly into my ear.
“…You said that the closer I got to you, the more it would hurt me, right? You’re probably right. If something happened to you, I’d be devastated. I’d probably cry for days.”
“Then…”
“But.”
Her hand gripped mine a little tighter as she said “but,” and she looked at me with unwavering eyes, her voice steady.
“But one thing is certain. If something happened to you and I couldn’t do anything to help, I’d be a thousand times more devastated. So, I’m going to be a bit selfish from now on.”
“...Selfish, how?”
“I mean that even if you try to refuse my help, I’m going to help you anyway. Consider it a threat. Got it? If you don’t want to see me crying my eyes out, then just quietly rely on me a little more.”
Sylvia smiled brightly as she said that to me.
It was a terrifying threat that I couldn’t possibly ignore, so I could only give her a wry smile and nod.
She looked genuinely delighted when I did.
Sylvia, who had been clinging to me, finally let go, and with her, the warm sensation of her calming spell left my head.
As the soothing feeling that had stabilized my emotions faded away, I suddenly felt a pang of regret.
And before I knew it, I found myself grabbing her hand that had just left my head and placing it back on top.
It was a completely unconscious action.
When I glanced up, Sylvia was looking at me with wide eyes, seemingly startled.
Embarrassment rushed over me like a wave, and I quickly let go of her hand, stammering in a panic.
“A-ah, no, I just… I felt sad thinking the spell was ending, so I...! I’m sorry!”
“Hehe…”
I looked up and saw Sylvia smiling mischievously, her expression full of amusement.
“Hehe, is that so...? You were sad, huh? I see, I see. Scarlet, you’ve had a tough day, and you need my spell. Ah, there’s nothing we can do. Really, there’s just nothing we can do.”
Muttering to herself, Sylvia took out her phone and made a call to someone.
“Yes, Sebastian. It’s me. Something very important has come up, so I’ll be staying at a friend’s house tonight. It’s really important, so please clear my schedule until the afternoon tomorrow. Bye.”
“Wait, Miss?! Miss?! Don’t tell me that ‘friend’ is a boy—!”
…Is this okay?
I could hear Sebastian’s anguished voice coming from the phone, but Sylvia paid it no mind and smiled brightly at me.
“Now, Scarlet, there’s no need to be sad anymore! I have plenty of time to cast spells for you, so let’s have a sleepover tonight!”
“Wait… you’re staying over?”
Yoon Si-woo, who had been listening, looked at Sylvia in surprise.
She looked back at him with a grin and replied cheerfully.
“What, are you jealous that I’m sleeping over with Scarlet?”
“Je-jealous? No way!”
“Sure, sure. Whatever you say. Anyway, Scarlet, just let me know if you need more spells. I’ll cast them for you all night!”
Um, I… I wanted to say something, but seeing Sylvia looking so excited for some reason, I could only go along with her and head to bed together.
“Th-then, goodnight, Sylvia.”
“Yes, goodnight, Scarlet.”
At first, I was really nervous about sleeping next to Sylvia.
“…I’m glad. It makes me happy that you’re relying on me, even in this way.”
But maybe it was thanks to her spell, or perhaps it was her gentle hand patting my head.
That night, I quickly fell into a deep sleep.
----------------------
TL Note: Rate us on Novel Updates & Make Sure to Add This Novel to Your Reading List on Novel Updates so You Will Receive Notifications Whenever i Post New Chapters.
Read Next 50 Chapters Here - patreon.com/AshbornTL
A chapter that doesn't end with Scarlet suffering??????????????? Are we even reading the same novel anymore
ReplyDeleteGod damn lol
DeleteThe past friend
ReplyDeleteWere they are woman or a man? In the past they were clearly a woman but in the present they said he and even said they were like a little brother.
:P looks like I won't be needing therapy for now.
ReplyDeleteSylvia is so sweet. I hope Scarlet could somewhat relax now.
👍
ReplyDeleteahhhh I hope the yuri route doesn't progress
ReplyDelete