Chapter 188: Academy Heroine's Right Diagonal Back Seat
Chapter 188
Tears welled up once more after hearing Sylvia say it was okay, and I had to compose myself again.
Sylvia held me and patted my back until I finally calmed down. When she saw that I seemed to have settled, she asked me a question.
“Um, Miss Scarlet. I want to ask you something... Is this the first time you've experienced such symptoms?”
“What do you mean by ‘such symptoms’?”
“I mean, like losing your mind, like what happened today. Have you ever experienced something like this before?”
I lowered my head slightly at her worried expression.
It was true that there had been many things I kept hidden from her.
I had decided to seek help only from Yoon Si-woo.
Most of my problems stemmed from the witch inside me.
However, unlike Yoon Si-woo, who shared a connection with me through our involvement with the witch, Sylvia’s only knowledge was that I was an experimental subject created by her family. She had no other link to the subject of witches.
I thought involving her in issues related to the witch would only cause her trouble.
So, I had always tried to act as normal as possible in front of her, to avoid making her worry.
Given her personality, I knew that if she found out I was struggling, she would definitely try to help me in any way she could.
That had been my plan all along, but now it had all fallen apart.
Not only had I ended up telling her everything that had happened today, but I had also shown her my tear-stained face.
There was nothing I could do now.
I sighed softly to myself and answered Sylvia.
“…Honestly, I’ve had similar symptoms before. Sometimes, I hear a voice in my head telling me to burn everything, or there are moments when I get thoughts that don’t feel like my own. If those count, then no, this isn’t the first time.”
“…So, you’ve been experiencing those symptoms for a while?”
I nodded slowly at her question.
Sylvia took a deep breath, her expression hardening.
After a moment of silently opening and closing her mouth, she whispered in a small voice.
“…Then, have you been struggling with that all this time?”
Struggling all this time, huh?
I thought about it for a moment, but I couldn’t bring myself to deny it, so I just gave a bitter smile in response.
Seeing that, Sylvia looked as if she was on the verge of tears and spoke with a trembling, self-reproaching voice.
“…I’m sorry. I had no idea you were struggling with something like that. Back when we were living at the mansion, I was always being pampered by you whenever I had a hard time, but I didn’t even realize that you were going through such a tough time...”
Her words made me feel a tightness in my chest.
This was exactly why I hadn’t wanted to tell Sylvia.
What did she have to feel sorry for?
I had tried my best to hide it in front of her. It wasn’t reasonable to expect her to notice my internal struggles.
But despite that, she was on the verge of tears, blaming herself. I slowly patted her head and spoke.
“You don’t have to feel sorry towards me. I managed to get by all this time, which is why I never let it show.”
“Then...”
Sylvia, her eyes brimming with tears, continued in a heavy voice.
“Does that mean today was so unbearable that you couldn’t help but show it?”
I held my breath at her sharp observation.
She was right.
What had happened today was too shocking for me to just let go.
Seeing my reaction, Sylvia seemed to take it as silent confirmation and looked even more distressed.
She bit her lip and then spoke in a determined voice, lifting her gaze.
“…Then we need to find a way to make sure something like this never happens again. Miss Scarlet, do you have any idea why this happened today?”
I thought about it for a moment before responding.
“…I’m not really sure. This is the first time I’ve completely lost control like this. But if there’s a reason, I think it might have to do with losing my magic energy after leaving the barrier…”
“Hmm… So, that might be the cause. But it’s still hard to understand. After all, this isn’t the first time you’ve left the barrier and come back, is it? If the barrier was the cause, this should have happened before, but it didn’t.”
“That’s true…”
I nodded in agreement.
This was the third time I’d left the barrier.
The first two times, I’d been unconscious when I returned, but if just leaving the barrier had been the cause, I should have lost my mind due to magic depletion back then as well.
But no matter how much I thought about it, I couldn’t pinpoint anything.
Was there anything different that had happened recently besides losing an arm and a leg?
But I didn’t think that was the cause...
As I pondered deeply, Sylvia murmured.
“There might be some other cause that Miss Scarlet doesn’t know about. Yoon Si-woo, do you have any ideas? You’ve been living with her, after all.”
Sylvia turned to Yoon Si-woo as she spoke.
But I didn’t expect any useful information to come out of this.
I had no idea what the cause was, so how could Yoon Si-woo know?
Besides, if there was something, I believed Yoon Si-woo would’ve told me about it.
So, it was all the more shocking.
“…I might have an idea,”
Yoon Si-woo said hesitantly, his words taking me by surprise.
I stared blankly at him, and our eyes met as he wore a conflicted expression.
He flinched, like a child caught doing something wrong, then looked away and continued in a small voice.
“…A couple of days ago, I had a conversation with the witch who briefly took over your body. At the time, I didn’t think she had any malicious intentions, so I didn’t pursue it further… Anyway, the fact that something like that happened might mean that you’re becoming more like the witch than before. The different symptoms you’re experiencing could be due to that...”
“…Something like that happened.”
Sylvia seemed shocked by Yoon Si-woo’s revelation.
I was too.
It was astonishing—and terrifying—to think that such a thing had happened without my knowledge.
But right now, the emotion filling my chest wasn’t shock or fear.
It was disappointment and betrayal.
“…Why didn’t you tell me about it?”
I saw Yoon Si-woo avert his gaze at my question.
A couple of days ago, on the day I was unwell.
I remembered how he had acted strangely when I asked if something had happened before he left the house.
But he had reassured me that nothing was wrong, and I had trusted him.
Yet, to think that something like this had happened and he had kept it from me.
Of all the people in the world, the one I trusted most was Yoon Si-woo.
Because I trusted him so much, I felt even more betrayed.
He knew better than anyone how much I was concerned about the witch inside me.
And yet, he had hidden something that happened to me, from me, the person involved.
As other emotions mixed with the feelings I had barely managed to suppress throughout the day, I felt my breath quicken.
Heat surged to my head as something rose in my chest.
That emotion scratched at my throat and burst out as a sharp sound like a knife.
“Of all people, you should have told me about something like that!”
My shout, filled with anger, seemed to wound Yoon Si-woo, as his face took on a pained expression.
Why are you making that face?
I’m the one hurt by your actions.
Tears welled up in my eyes from the injustice of it all.
Unable to hold back my feelings, I cried out to him in a choked voice.
“…Why did you hide it from me? Why, why didn’t you tell me?”
Yoon Si-woo’s face twisted as he murmured softly.
“…I didn’t tell you because I knew it would have hurt you.”
His words took my breath away.
“…I knew you were already dealing with so much, and I was afraid you’d be terrified if you heard that the witch had taken over your body, even for a short time. I wanted to spare you at least some of the burden… But looking back, I realize that was a mistake. I’m sorry...”
“Ah...”
His words cooled the heat in my head and brought me back to reality.
I saw Yoon Si-woo with his head bowed.
As the heat that had risen to my head chilled, my hands and feet began to tremble.
This… this isn’t right.
Yoon Si-woo had only been trying to be considerate of me.
I was the one who should be apologizing.
I was the one at fault.
Nausea welled up inside me.
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TL Note: Can Anyone of You Write a Review on Novel Updates? Because Tommorow is The Day of Weekly Rank.
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