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Chapter 187: Academy Heroine's Right Diagonal Back Seat

Chapter 187



Beyond the open wardrobe door, I saw Yoon Si-woo and Sylvia.


As their figures blurred more and more, I realized that I was crying.


Why was this happening? I was flustered by the tears streaming down my face uncontrollably and wiped at my eyes with my sleeves.


But no matter how much I wiped, I couldn’t stop the flood of tears, like a broken dam.


“Uh, Miss Scarlet! What happened?!”


“Why are you suddenly crying like that...? Did something really happen?! Just, please calm down...!”


They seemed even more bewildered than I was.


It must have been shocking to see a kid who had been curled up alone in the wardrobe suddenly start bawling as soon as the door was opened.


Seeing how flustered they were, I tried my best to stop crying, but I couldn’t control it.


As I continued to hiccup through my unceasing tears, I heard Sylvia’s voice.


“...Miss Scarlet.”


I stopped wiping my eyes and looked at her as she called my name.


Her eyes were filled with concern.


Did she know?


That I was a monster who almost killed someone today?


The mere thought of how those eyes might change if she found out was so terrifying that I couldn’t stand it.


But without asking me anything, she spoke gently.


“...I don’t know what happened to you, but we’ll help. So please don’t stay alone in such a cramped place. Come out.”


Even though she didn’t know what had happened, she still offered to help.


Sylvia said this as she cautiously reached out her hand toward me.


Seeing that outstretched hand made me hesitate.


Ah, was it okay for me to shamelessly take that hand?


Was it okay for a monster who almost killed a friend to shamelessly ask for help?


Conflicting emotions churned inside me.


One part of me felt I shouldn’t take her hand.


The other part desperately wanted to.


As I was struggling with those conflicting feelings, Sylvia spoke again in a warm voice, as if trying to convince me.


“It’s uncomfortable in there, isn’t it? Come on.”


The girl’s outstretched hand, shining like a cluster of silver stars in my tear-blurred vision, came closer.


Sylvia reached out her hand but didn’t force me.


As if saying, “It’s up to you to take this hand,” she just held out her hand and waited quietly for me to take it.


But the hesitation didn’t last long.


Was it because I had secretly been hoping that someone would offer me a helping hand, even when I was hiding in the wardrobe?


Or was it because I felt the tightly locked bolt inside my heart crumbling at the sight of that outstretched hand?


I wasn’t sure, but I chose not to refuse her hand.


I let her guide me, and I managed to crawl out of the cramped wardrobe.


“There, there. It’s okay.”


Even after coming out of the wardrobe, Sylvia patted my back for a long time as I continued to sob uncontrollably.


So, I cried for quite a while, caught between Yoon Si-woo, who looked at me with worried eyes, and Sylvia, who gently patted my back, until I finally managed to stop crying.


When I did, Sylvia let out a bittersweet smile and muttered.


“Really... Have you calmed down now? I was so startled, you know? I heard you weren’t feeling well and just wanted to check if you were okay, but when you weren’t in your room, I found you in the wardrobe instead. And then, as soon as we opened the door, you suddenly started crying your eyes out... It’s the first time I’ve seen you cry like that.”


“...I was surprised too. Scarlet, if something happened, please tell us. We’ll help you figure it out, whatever it is.”


From Yoon Si-woo’s stern expression and his words, it seemed my crying had left quite an impression on him.


Especially for Sylvia.


I had inadvertently shown all sorts of weaknesses to Yoon Si-woo, but I had tried not to show any vulnerability in front of Sylvia so she wouldn’t worry.


But now, with Yoon Si-woo asking what had happened, I couldn’t bring myself to speak.


How could I possibly tell them I almost killed someone, especially someone they know—Jessie?


I hesitated and couldn’t open my mouth, and then Sylvia glanced sideways at Yoon Si-woo and spoke sharply.


“Could it be that Yoon Si-woo did something terrible to you? If that’s the case, I won’t forgive him.”


“Te-terrible thing?! What are you talking about! I would never do such a thing to Scarlet...!”


“I was just joking. After all, no matter what, I believe Yoon Si-woo isn’t the type of person who’d do something like that to Miss Scarlet. Although, seeing you overreact like that makes me a bit suspicious.”


Sylvia said this to me with a slight smile, as if trying to lighten the heavy atmosphere with a joke.


It seemed like she was trying to be considerate since I was so down.


After looking at me for a moment, Sylvia then put on a serious expression and asked carefully.


“So, Miss Scarlet, can you tell us why you were crying like that?”


Despite deciding to tell them the truth, I hesitated for a long time, my lips trembling.


I almost killed someone.


It was so hard to say those few words that I felt like I couldn’t breathe.


After struggling with myself for a long time, all I could finally say was this:


“…I almost made a terrible mistake. I felt so guilty, and I hated myself for nearly doing such a thing…”


At that, Sylvia tilted her head slightly and then let out a soft laugh, as if she found it endearing.


“Wait a minute. You’re saying you were crying so much over something you almost did, but didn’t actually do? My goodness, how can someone be so kind… It’s okay, Miss Scarlet. Everyone makes mistakes, right? You don’t have to feel so guilty over something you didn’t even do. It’s not like you almost killed someone or anything like tha—”


Her words trailed off as she spoke.


Probably because she saw the color drain from my face when she said it wasn’t like I had almost killed someone.


I felt like my breath was being squeezed out of my lungs.


But what if it were true?


If she found out what I’d done, how would she look at me?


I could see her expression turn serious, mirroring mine.


With disbelief in her eyes, she murmured.


“...Miss Scarlet, did you really?”


The way she looked at me as she asked if I had truly almost killed someone—it felt like she was looking at a monster, condemning someone who had nearly committed such a heinous act.


The sudden change in her eyes, which had looked at me so warmly before, hurt so much.


But that didn’t change the fact that what I’d done wouldn’t disappear.


Yes. I was a monster who nearly killed my friend.


As I nodded to her, I heard a small gasp of shock.


Her reaction was hard to bear, but now that she knew, there was no reason to hide it anymore.


With a repentant heart, I confessed everything I had done and almost done in front of her.


“…Yesterday, I stepped outside the barrier for a moment because of work and came back. Since my body is like that of a witch or a demonic beast, I lost my magic energy while passing through the barrier. So, by this morning, I was out of my mind, consumed with the thought that I had to replenish the magic I’d lost, and I tried to do it by using the corpse of a demonic beast.”


I told her about how, after stepping outside the barrier and returning, I had gone mad and tried to replenish my depleted magic energy by using the corpse of a demonic beast.


“…Then, Jessie almost caught me doing it. I thought it would be a problem if I was caught, so… I tried to burn Jessie to death to destroy the evidence. I managed to stop myself just in time, but…”


I told her how I had almost burned Jessie to death to destroy the evidence, thinking it would be a problem if I was caught.


“…I’ve become a monster that can go crazy and do such things at any time. A monster that, if I’m not careful, could burn my precious people to ashes with my own hands…”


I told her that I had become a terrible monster capable of doing such things at any moment.


But at the end of that confession, I didn’t ask for forgiveness.


Because I didn’t think I could be forgiven.


Of course, just like I had, I thought she would come to hate me too.


And yet,


“…It’s okay.”


Even so, Sylvia said that to me.


“…You haven’t actually done anything wrong, Miss Scarlet. You’re not a monster. So, it’s okay.”


The unexpected reassurance in those words, “It’s okay,” almost made the tears I had barely stopped flow again.


I didn’t want to cause more trouble, so this time I tried my hardest to hold them back.


But my attempt was in vain.


Because when Sylvia, disregarding the self I loathed, gently embraced me and murmured that it was okay, that it was okay…


The tears I had held back burst forth again.


Those simple words, “It’s okay,” were salvation to me.


They were words I couldn’t bring myself to say.


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