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Chapter 199: Academy Heroine's Right Diagonal Back Seat

Chapter 199



When I tried to pick up my phone with trembling hands after dropping it due to the shocking news, the call was abruptly cut off, accompanied by Sylvia's murmuring voice.


It felt like she had said something, but I couldn't remember what it was.


The story I heard just before had been so shocking that my mind went blank.


Stumbling halfway out of my senses, I somehow made my way to the sofa and collapsed onto it.


Maybe I heard it wrong.


I tried denying reality for a moment, but as I recalled Sylvia’s voice that vividly came to mind, I couldn’t help but accept that what I had heard was indeed true.


Uncle was dead.


He had taken his own life.


“...Why?”


That single word that slipped from my mouth best expressed my current feelings.


It hadn’t even been a few days since I last saw his face.


I could still clearly remember him telling me to stay strong before we parted.


But now he had committed suicide.


I couldn’t even begin to guess why, so I just leaned against the sofa, dazedly repeating the word ‘why’ over and over again.


[...Miss Scarlet, I’m here.]


With a “ding-dong,” Sylvia’s voice echoed from beyond the front door.


What was Sylvia doing here?


...Come to think of it, I vaguely remembered hearing her say she was coming here before the call ended.


I got up from the sofa and staggered to the front door.


When I opened the door, Sylvia, her face filled with sorrow, came into view.


It seemed that even for her, Uncle’s death was a hard reality to accept.


What should I say to comfort her? While I was blankly pondering this, she asked me,


“...Miss Scarlet, are you okay?”


From that question, I realized something.


Despite being in just as much confusion, she still asked how I was, indicating how awful my expression must have looked.


It seemed I wasn’t in any position to be comforting anyone.


At the very least, I didn’t want to cause any worry, so I tried to say something, but—


“...Why did Uncle die?”


What came out of my mouth wasn’t reassurance but the question that had been filling my head.


Sylvia looked at me with a pained expression and murmured.


“...Let’s go inside. I’ll explain everything to you inside.”


At her words, I let Sylvia into the house.


Sitting across from me at the dining table, she hesitated slightly before beginning to speak.


“Miss Scarlet, this might be a difficult story to hear, but please try to stay calm. Yesterday...”


And so I heard from Sylvia what had happened yesterday.


She spoke about the witch weaponization plan discussed in the meeting, and how she and Yoon Si-woo had deceived people to keep my name out of it with Uncle’s help.


After hearing all of that, I could finally understand the reason Uncle had taken his own life.


That was it.


That was why.


“Then... Uncle died... because of me?”


I absentmindedly voiced the truth I had just realized.


As soon as I said it, something inside me started to boil.


I contorted my face as I murmured in the grip of the emotion that surged from deep within.


“Uncle, because of me... Ugh, haha...”


A laugh slipped out, mixed with my distorted murmuring.


No, maybe it was more like a sob, but that didn’t matter.


What mattered was that because of someone like me, a person had crossed an irreversible river.


“Haha, because of me... Hic, because of me...”


Because of me, someone else had become unhappy again.


This cursed existence of mine had driven someone else into misery once more.


So I laughed bitterly, mocked myself, resented myself, hated myself, cursed myself—


And howled in anguish at that existence.


“Because of someone like me-!!!”


*Smack!* A sharp sound echoed.


As my senses returned, I felt a stinging pain on my cheek.


Slowly turning my head, I looked ahead and saw Sylvia glaring at me with eyes filled with sadness and anger.


Her hand, which seemed to have struck my cheek, was glowing with a familiar light.


...It felt like an emotional stabilization spell.


As if in a daze, I watched Sylvia as she brought her hand to my cheek and murmured.


“...I’m sorry for hitting you like that. But, Miss Scarlet, please don’t say things like ‘because of someone like me.’ Of all people, you shouldn’t belittle Uncle Luke’s death like that...”


Sylvia’s eyes were brimming with tears as she gently stroked my cheek.


With a quavering voice, she asked me.


“Think about it. When you were dragged away by the witch, saying you’d save us, did you want us to blame ourselves for it, thinking it was our fault?”


At her example, I slowly shook my head.


It really was a perfectly fitting example.


I immediately reflected on what I had said, realizing how wrong it was.


Uncle wouldn’t have wanted me to blame myself in that way either.


When Sylvia looked at me as if asking, *Now do you understand?*, I lowered my head.


It was an apology to both her and Uncle.


“...I won’t say things like that anymore.”


When I apologized, Sylvia wiped her eyes with the handkerchief she had taken from her pocket, then took out an envelope and handed it to me.


“...I’m sorry too. I should’ve given this to you sooner, but things were just so chaotic.”


“...What is it?”


“...It’s a letter Mr. Luke left for you, Miss Scarlet. He asked me to give it to you.”


At the identity of the letter she told me, I inhaled sharply.


The envelope, light as a feather, suddenly felt unbearably heavy.


Seeing Sylvia’s gaze, which seemed to be urging me to open it, I slowly opened the envelope and took out the letter.


For some reason, I took a deep breath, feeling tense.


I wondered if this letter contained his resentment toward me.


But the first words of the letter that I opened were,


*I’m sorry, Scarlet.*


It began with an apology to me.


*Since you’re reading this letter, it means you’ve already heard the news about me. I imagine it must’ve shocked you a lot. I want to apologize for that.*


It really had shocked me a lot.


But since he was apologizing like this, the generous me decided to forgive him.


*With your kind nature, you might blame yourself, thinking my death was your fault. I’m telling you in case you do, please don’t. You did nothing wrong.*


...This person, why does he know my personality so well?


I let out a slight laugh at the absurdity, and laughed once more at his words that I did nothing wrong.


Yes, I laughed. Definitely not because I felt choked up.


\- Anyway, I thought that this decision of mine might seem extreme to you. So, I want to tell you a little about my story, hoping it might help you not feel guilty.


I focused and read the next sentence.


\- The truth is, I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to worry, but I wasn’t going to live long anyway. A disease I got in the past spread all over my body. To an irreversible extent. Scarlet, stress is what really ruins a person’s body.


I was so surprised by this fact that I hadn’t known, I held my breath slightly.


\- Well, in my case, it’s more like I neglected the disease because of stress. As you know, Scarlet, I’ve done a lot of bad things, right? I knew that the disease had developed in my body because of the stress, but I just let it be. I thought it was divine punishment.


...I recalled Uncle’s face, which had grown paler each time we met.


Until now, I just thought he was going through a lot, but it seems it was because his illness was progressing.


\- It was hard before. I couldn’t bear the wrongs I had done to you and the other kids who came before you. If nothing had happened, I probably would’ve continued living a life filled with regret and died like that.


He probably struggled even more because he was originally a doctor.


Using the skills he honed to save lives for completely unrelated, heinous deeds.


I could feel just a little of the weight of the guilt he had been carrying in the heavy strokes of his handwriting.


\- But meeting you changed my life. Scarlet, you gave meaning to my life, which had been filled with only regret.


It felt a bit strange.


The fact that my name, Scarlet, was connected to the word “meaning of life.”


\- It was selfish of me to hope you’d become a kind person and to wish you’d become someone who protects others. But you really became that person. You probably don’t know how much of a salvation that was for me, Scarlet. Because of you, I was happy.


Did my actions mean that much to Uncle?


...I don’t really know.


But his words, that he was happy because of me.


Why do they resonate so deeply in my heart?


\- I wanted to repay even a little bit of that debt. So I chose to use my remaining time in a way that could help you, the person who gave my life meaning. I’m sorry for acting selfishly until the end. Please understand.


Reading that, I thought maybe Uncle and I were a little similar in some ways.


\- ...I planned to keep my story short, but I ended up writing quite a lot without much coherence. Well, since I’ve never written a letter before, I’m not sure how to end it. I guess I’ll just write a few more words and finish up.


Seeing his clumsy writing, I decided to take back what I said about being like him.


I realized there was someone else he resembled.


\- You’ll probably face many difficult times ahead. But I believe you can overcome all of them. Stay strong.


Uncle seemed similar to my father.


In that we both had subtle resemblances.


Encouraging me to live strongly and to stay hopeful at the end.


Leaving my side to protect me.


\- And finally.


And finally.


\- Be happy, Scarlet.


That both of them would want me to be happy.


“Ah...”


There were no more words after that in the letter.


Even if there had been more, I probably wouldn’t have been able to read them.


“Ah... Hic...”


Tears that had fallen from my eyes dripped onto the letter and blurred the ink.


I couldn’t stop crying, as my chest tightened with a strange heaviness.


It was really strange.


If you think about it, I hadn’t even seen him that many times, and he wasn’t even my real parent.


But I felt just as sad as when my parents passed away.


I thought about it for a moment and then suddenly realized.


There was another being besides me who felt sorrow over Uncle’s death.


What did Uncle mean to Scarlet?


Uncle was the one who had brought Scarlet into the world.


Uncle was the one who had given Scarlet a name.


To Scarlet, Uncle was probably no different from a father.


“Ah... Waaah... Hwaaah...”


So it wasn’t surprising that Scarlet was grieving so deeply over the death of a father figure.


I decided to express the grief I was feeling without holding anything back.


Sylvia, who had approached me at some point, embraced me tightly.


With my head buried in her arms, I cried for a long time.


***


“Are you feeling a bit better?”


Sylvia asked, looking at me with worried eyes.


It was understandable.


I had cried so much.


I nodded, blushing a little out of embarrassment.


But it seemed like that wasn’t the only thing she was worried about.


“...What about the letter? It’s completely soaked.”


Sylvia murmured, looking at the letter where the ink had blurred to the point of being unreadable.


After all, it was the keepsake Uncle had left me, so it was probably bothering her that it ended up like this.


“It’s okay. That letter.”


“But...”


“Really, it’s okay.”


I said, as if it didn’t matter, and picked up the letter.


Then I opened the window and set the soaked letter on fire.


Sylvia was startled.


But it didn’t matter.


Because I already had the contents of the letter etched deeply into my mind.


It was a debt I could never repay. There was no way I could ever forget it.


I would probably have to live my whole life paying off that debt.


Not for the person who died because of me, but for the person who died for me.


The letter burned, sending smoke high into the sky.


Watching it rise, I could almost hear Uncle’s words, telling me to stay strong, to be happy.


I’ll live that way.


I made a vow to myself.


I looked in the direction where I felt Uncle was watching over me from somewhere.


And I smiled as brightly as I could, as if to reassure him.


---------------


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Comments

  1. P: He's selfish to the end... Scarlet took that better than I expect though. Nice, but sad.
    Tftc

    ReplyDelete
  2. Replies
    1. there are also other words in your keyboard, you should try them someday

      Delete
  3. I'm crying reading these past chapters please lighten things up a bit it's too much

    ReplyDelete
  4. I have read 200 chapters and cried at least 20 times

    ReplyDelete

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