Chapter 185: Academy Heroine's Right Diagonal Back Seat
Chapter 185
As I took in the small girl's appearance, the flames flickering in my hands blazed even fiercer.
The crackling of the flames sounded like whispers.
Like the incessant voices that always echoed in my mind.
Burn.
Burn that girl in front of you, the flames whispered.
It was another kind of impulse.
The constant whispers to burn everything always stirred a compulsion to act on those words.
Usually, it took immense effort to resist it...
But now, I wasn’t sure.
Why had I fought so hard against this impulse before?
The important thing was that I had a reason to burn the girl in front of me right now.
Getting caught was troublesome.
So, I had to burn her.
At this moment, there was no reason to resist the impulse.
The flames flickered in my hand.
Feeling the whispers of the flames, I took a step toward the small girl.
She stared at something behind me with a confused look and asked.
“Um, Miss Scarlet? Did you set that monster corpse on fire?”
With those words, I realized she hadn’t seen me directly inhaling the miasma.
I guess that was a small relief.
She hadn’t witnessed anything incriminating.
But even if she had, it wouldn’t have mattered much.
What mattered was that she had seen enough to grow suspicious.
Even the smallest suspicion could easily snowball into something much larger.
In this world, even the mere act of being suspected could land you on the stake.
If I didn’t want to relive those experiences, I had to burn her before she could start questioning.
I glanced behind me.
The burning monster corpse had been completely incinerated, leaving nothing behind.
I chuckled at the sight.
If I burn it all, it would vanish just like that.
Even the suspicions the girl might have harbored, gone without a trace.
So, let’s burn her.
I turned back and took another step toward the girl.
As I approached, she continued to speak.
“Th-that’s dangerous, you know? If you burn it, the miasma could spread through the smoke. And you’re not even wearing protective gear, Miss Scarlet.”
Hearing her chatter, I thought how annoyingly talkative she was.
Someone this loud would surely blab about what she’d seen to everyone in the neighborhood if I didn’t burn her.
So I had to burn her.
I’d made up my mind, but one concern arose.
Burning alive was excruciatingly painful.
And if I set this noisy girl on fire while she was alive, she would undoubtedly scream, drawing people to the scene.
That would be a problem...
It was obvious that a troublesome situation would unfold.
And if that happened, I’d have to burn everyone else too.
To avoid that, it would be best to turn her into a corpse first, like the monster, before setting her on fire.
So, let’s make her a corpse first.
I extinguished the flames in my hands, ending my thought process.
Then, before I knew it, I was standing right in front of the girl, and I placed both hands on her shoulders.
Between my hands, resting on her shoulders, was the girl’s neck.
It was a fragile neck that would snap like a twig with just a little bit of pressure.
It wouldn’t make a sound loud enough for anyone to hear.
As I moved my hands toward her neck, the girl looked up at me and murmured.
“Miss Scarlet, are you feeling unwell?”
Seeing the girl staring up at me with worried eyes made me let out a hollow laugh.
She was worrying about me without even realizing the danger she was in.
The sight only strengthened my resolve that it was better to kill her before setting her on fire.
Burning alive was painful.
I couldn’t let the girl suffer through that.
After all, the girl was—
Jessie was my dear friend.
My friend.
And here were my hands on Jessie’s shoulders.
With these hands, what was I trying to do?
...
...
...
Oh.
I stared blankly at my hands, as if they were broken, then realized what I was about to do and pulled them away from Jessie’s shoulders as if I had been burned.
My hands shook violently as if in the throes of a seizure.
When I looked at the slender neck those hands were about to reach for, the gravity of what I had been about to do flashed through my mind like a panorama, causing my breath to hitch.
If Jessie, who stood in front of me with a confused expression, hadn’t been there, I might have collapsed right then and vomited on the spot.
“...Miss Scarlet?”
Jessie tilted her head, calling my name.
Startled by Jessie’s voice, I opened my mouth, but the words came out half-formed.
“Ah, um…”
A wave of nausea washed over me as a sudden realization struck.
I had just tried to kill my friend, and my first instinct was to come up with an excuse so she wouldn’t be suspicious.
“I’m fine, so don’t worry. I was just thinking maybe I could burn the corpse to get rid of the miasma, but it didn’t work at all. Ahaha…”
I could see my own reflection in Jessie’s eyes—desperately coming up with excuses while pretending everything was normal, with a dumb smile on my face.
It was pathetic.
I couldn’t help but despise myself.
What a wretched creature I was.
Yet, my body still followed its survival instincts, acting in a way that was all too honest.
I put all my effort into pretending to be my usual self, keeping my emotions from showing.
Fortunately, it seemed that my desperate performance had worked, as Jessie chuckled playfully.
“Ah, I see... Miss Scarlet, honestly. It might be dangerous, so you shouldn’t do that. Next time, make sure to ask someone around, okay?”
I nodded at her words.
Even that small nod of relief felt disgusting.
Self-loathing crept up, and I could feel it growing stronger the longer I stayed in this spot.
As the feeling intensified, I turned to leave the alley where I had almost committed a horrible act, but Jessie’s voice stopped me.
“Hey, Miss Scarlet. Just to check, you weren’t about to do anything bad, right?”
I froze at those words.
I could hear the faint hint of suspicion in her voice.
This was bad.
That was the first thought that crossed my mind.
Jessie already had a deep-seated hatred for witches.
If she started doubting me, it wouldn’t be long before my true identity was revealed.
I needed to figure something out...
But just as I reached that conclusion, the memory of what I had nearly done to her resurfaced, and my expression twisted.
So what was I supposed to do?
Kill Jessie just because she was suspicious of me?
The thought was absurd.
Just imagining it was horrific, and I felt like I might burst into tears.
Whether it was because of what had just happened or because my thoughts were spiraling out of control, every idea felt increasingly extreme.
If Jessie had to die, then maybe it would be better if I did instead.
That was the thought that crossed my mind.
So, I decided that maybe it would be better to confess everything here and be arrested, to be executed rather than live like this. I turned toward Jessie, ready to tell her the truth.
“...No, please forget what I just said.”
Jessie’s voice cut through my thoughts.
“Hehe, I’m so silly. I’ve just been through so many bad things lately that I think my head’s messed up. It’s not like you’re a bad person, Miss Scarlet, of all people.”
Her words made my chest ache.
Without thinking, I found myself asking her.
“Why do you think that?”
In truth, from my perspective, it was a question I should never have asked.
It was a dangerous question that could only deepen Jessie’s suspicions.
But Jessie responded with a voice full of certainty.
“Well, you’ve saved my life so many times, and you’re always kind to everyone. You’re a good person, Miss Scarlet, so of course I believe in you. Plus, we’re friends, right?”
I stopped myself from turning my head to look at her.
I knew I wouldn’t be able to hide my expression if I saw her face.
Ironically, the very thing that erased her suspicions was her unwavering belief in me.
It was something that should have made me happy, but I couldn’t find any joy in it.
Because I couldn’t even trust myself anymore.
Her words hurt.
The words “I believe in you” and “friend” dug deep into my chest, twisting like a knife.
I wanted to shake my head.
What I had almost done to her kept swirling around in my mind.
But even so, I couldn’t bring myself to tell her not to believe in me.
“...Yeah.”
I struggled to get that one word out.
Jessie beamed with joy, running over and grabbing my hand.
I tilted my head up slightly to avoid seeing her neck right next to me.
We made our way back to where everyone else was, and I put on my protective gear.
It wasn’t until I put on the helmet that completely covered my face that I could finally let some of the pain spill out.
Hidden inside the helmet, where no one could see, the pain dripped down in silent tears.
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Poor scarlet
ReplyDeleteBeing scarlet is suffering
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