Chapter 139: Academy Heroine's Right Diagonal Back Seat
Chapter 139
At some point, amidst the unending alarm ringing in my head.
A thud interrupted the noise.
However, unlike usual, when a hit to the head would quiet the noise, even a shock that shook my brain left it lingering, like a faint echo.
So, until the noise subsided.
Again and again.
Thud, thud, thud.
I banged my head against the wall.
After repeatedly banging my head on the wall to get a grip on myself for quite some time, something suddenly surged up inside me.
"......Why am I like this? I'm just a guy who doesn't have any special traits except for enduring things well......"
But I felt that if I cried now, there would be no turning back.
I forced myself to swallow it down, muttering to myself, telling myself to endure it.
Because there was no other way.
After a while, I kept banging my head against the wall until I finally slumped down onto the toilet seat with my head still pressed against the wall.
Once I sat down on the toilet, a dry, choking laugh escaped from me.
I tried to think positively, as usual, to block out the negative thoughts that kept creeping in.
But all I could think of was how lucky I was that no one would hear the sound of me banging my head against the wall because of the ongoing classes.
"......This is tough."
Those words slipped out on their own.
Even when things were tough, I could usually manage to get through them by thinking positively.
I was someone who was pretty good at that, so I'd been enduring all this time, thinking I could keep going.
But what happened today was not something I could easily get over.
Once I realized that the witch's influence had affected not just my body but even my mind.
The hypothetical fear that something could go wrong the moment I let my guard down, even for a second, including during sleep, had become a reality.
The anxiety about whether I could really pull through kept suppressing any positive thoughts.
As I sat there, gripping my trembling hands, a sharp pain suddenly throbbed in my forehead.
When I lifted my forehead from the wall, blood trickled down the bathroom wall.
......It seemed that my forehead had split open from repeatedly banging it against the wall.
I sighed and carefully wiped the blood off the wall with tissue, then stepped out of the toilet stall to look in the mirror above the sink.
The girl reflected in the mirror was frowning, her face stained red with blood flowing down from her forehead.
When I turned on the faucet and washed the blood away, her forehead looked as clean as if it had never bled at all.
The girl reflected in the mirror was that kind of monster.
And someday, she might become an even worse monster.
The girl wore a truly pained expression, as if she was terrified of that possibility.
But she couldn't walk around with such a face, so she tried to think as positively as possible.
In response, the girl in the mirror gave a hollow laugh.
No matter how hard she tried to think positively, all she could come up with was how lucky she was that her hair was red.
At least if her hair got stained with blood, it wouldn’t show—one of the few things she liked about this body.
---
When I opened the door to the infirmary, as usual, the school nurse was dozing off in her chair.
She didn't even notice someone had entered, and for a moment, I envied her carefree attitude. But I quickly shook off the thought and called out to her.
"Excuse me, ma'am?"
"...Sniff... Huh! Oh, when did you get here? I didn't even notice and was dozing off."
"I just got here, so don't worry about it."
At my call, she jolted awake, wiping the drool from her mouth with the sleeve of her gown, looking embarrassed. I shook my head.
I always thought being a school nurse, who could nap in the infirmary when there were no sick students, was probably a pretty cushy job.
But just as I was thinking that, I noticed her expression, which had been drowsy a moment ago, suddenly hardened.
"...You don’t look too good. Did you hurt yourself? I think I smell a bit of blood..."
Her concerned eyes and the question that followed made me flinch.
I was sure I had wiped off all the blood in the bathroom.
The school nurse was someone who knew that my wounds didn’t heal well.
If she found out about my current condition, she'd definitely sense something was wrong, and that would cause a big fuss.
In the worst-case scenario, something really bad could happen to me, so I tried to maintain my composure as I replied.
"I'm not hurt. I just started feeling a bit unwell during class, so I thought I'd rest here for a moment."
At my response, the school nurse seemed to realize something, and she looked at me with pity before speaking.
"...I see. If you're not feeling well, don’t push yourself too hard and just rest. Even if you’re superhuman, some people struggle more than others. Come on, go lie down. I'll keep your stomach warm."
"...? Uh, okay..."
I didn't really understand why she wanted to keep my stomach warm, but I did as she said and lay down on the bed, pulling the blanket up to my chest.
Once I lay down, a wave of exhaustion hit me, but I couldn't afford to fall asleep, so I kept my eyes wide open, trying to stay alert, muttering to myself.
Stay awake, it’s only been a day without sleep.
You’ve stayed up three whole days before when you were busy.
Going a few days without sleep is nothing.
So you can endure it, you can definitely endure it.
No matter how many times I muttered this to myself, the negative thoughts kept creeping in.
Even if I can endure it for now, how long can I keep this up?
How long can I live like this, constantly on edge, never getting a proper night's sleep?
A month? Three months? A year?
As these uncertain questions flooded my mind, I let out a sigh without realizing it.
"...Do you have something on your mind? Should I counsel you?"
The nurse, having heard my sigh, turned her chair toward me and asked.
A bitter smile crossed my face at her question.
Just as she said, I did have something on my mind.
My heart was overflowing with things I wanted to ask others about—how to handle this, what I should do about that.
But none of them were things I could share with anyone; they were secrets I had to keep to myself.
Suppressing the urge to open up, I answered her.
"...I'm fine. It's nothing serious."
"Even if it's nothing serious, it's okay. Sometimes, just talking about your worries can help relieve them. Or is it something that's hard to talk about?"
"...A little."
"I understand. It can be hard to open up about what's inside. But you know, keeping your worries bottled up can be poisonous. Well, it's not easy to spill your guts out of nowhere, so how about I go first?"
Without waiting for an answer, she began to speak.
"After school, I go around hospitals at night helping treat patients. There are many places in need of someone who can use healing magic. I end up dozing off at school because of it, but what can you do? There are just so many people who need my healing. Believe it or not, I earned the title of hero with just healing magic—pretty impressive, right?"
She shrugged her shoulders with a proud expression. I couldn't help but stare at her in disbelief. Seeing my reaction, she chuckled but soon wiped the smile from her face and continued in a quieter voice.
"Last night, I treated a patient who was rushed to the emergency room. They had fallen from the window of their apartment on the fifth floor. Thankfully, they survived because we were able to act quickly. After the treatment, when the patient regained consciousness, I asked what had happened, how they ended up falling."
Her eyes grew sad as she mumbled.
"...They said they didn't fall, they jumped. I found out they had lost their family during the time when people were being controlled by the witch and had even undergone psychiatric treatment. The reports said they had recovered, but then they suddenly jumped."
"......"
"...When I asked why they jumped, do you know what they said?"
"...What did they say?"
"They said their dinner was just too delicious that night."
Seeing that I had no response, she took a moment to steady her breathing before continuing.
"They came home after work and sat down for dinner. That night, for some reason, the food tasted exceptionally good. It made them smile. But then they looked around and realized they had no family left to share that delicious meal with. They had lived their whole life for their family, but now, they were gone. Despite losing their family, they found themselves feeling happy just because the food was good. It made them feel ashamed. The witch who had killed their family was still out there, living freely, while they could do nothing. The fact that they had accepted this and were smiling over a meal was too much for them to bear. So they jumped."
"......"
"Just as I was leaving after finishing the treatment, they asked me if I was a hero. When I said yes, they asked me for a favor. They said they were just an ordinary person and couldn't do anything themselves, so they begged me to avenge their family by killing the witch. I promised I would. But when I thought about it later, I realized that, in reality, I'm just as powerless."
She looked down at her hands, her voice tinged with self-mockery.
"I'm called a hero, but I'm only a half-baked one. I can heal, but I can't fight, so I can't fulfill their wish. Still, it made me rethink things. At the very least, I'll do everything I can."
With a determined gaze, she looked at me and murmured.
"I can't fight, but I will do everything in my power to support those of you who can. I'll help you get back up when you fall. I'll listen to your worries if you have any. That's my role as a hero. So if you have anything on your mind, don't hesitate to tell me. Even for my sake."
She smiled gently at me, her words filled with sincerity.
Faced with her resolve to do her best in her role, I couldn't help but nod.
But that was precisely why I couldn’t tell her my true worries.
Because I...
After a moment of swallowing my bitterness, I hesitated, then quietly asked her, who was waiting expectantly for me to share my concerns.
"Um, do you have any tips for staying awake when you're really sleepy? You must get tired often because of your healing magic, so I thought you might know."
"Is that what's worrying you? Well, the best solution is to get a good sleep, but if you’re short on time, I do have something that can help you wake up instantly... Though it’s pretty strong, so only use it when you really need it."
As she answered, she pulled something wrapped in plastic out of her coat pocket and handed it to me.
She seemed to hesitate a bit, considering how strong the effect might be. But thinking that I needed it now, I quickly unwrapped it and popped the round item into my mouth without a second thought.
"[email protected]#!$!%!?!!!!"
A shrill scream escaped me as an overwhelming sourness exploded in my mouth.
"Hey! You said you weren't feeling well, but you ate that right away—!"
As I writhed in the face of the almost violent sourness, she cried out in shock.
What the hell is this?! Is this some kind of assassination poison designed to kill with sourness?
I shot her a betrayed look and shouted.
"Wha...What is... What is this...?!"
"It's, um, a special lemon candy I made to wake me up..."
"This isn’t lemon... This is NOT lemon..."
After battling with the intense sourness that made my taste buds scream, I eventually accepted her apology as she fretted nervously in front of me.
"I...I'm sorry. I didn’t think you’d eat it right away... I also didn’t expect it to be that sour... I made it to really wake me up, so..."
"...I thought my tongue was going to disappear. I’m not good with sour things..."
For someone like me who can't even handle regular lemons, it was too much.
Normally, I wouldn’t ever want to touch something like that again, but...
"...But I have to admit, this stuff really works. Could I take some with me?"
"Oh? Oh, sure. Take as much as you want. I have plenty."
Just as she said, it was an incredibly effective way to wake up.
Sorry, tongue.
I apologized to my tongue internally, but it had already given up, resigned to its fate.
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Wait, why I am crying "..."
ReplyDeleteSiwoo need to coming back ASAP
ReplyDeleteThese people's are too emotional
ReplyDeleteEmail protected?
ReplyDeletewhat?
Delete"[email protected]#!$!%!?!!!!"
DeleteThat's what's written right after Scarlet eats the candy. I'm assuming it's a mistake?
no, it's not a mistake. the same was written in korean raw, i think it's a type of abuse.
DeleteGirl broke
DeleteShe something like "fucking hell" or something like that and it got censored.
DeleteI love how real these people are
ReplyDeleteI'm drooling
ReplyDelete