Chapter 135: Academy Heroine's Right Diagonal Back Seat
Chapter 135
After lunch, as I was about to open the classroom door to return, I caught sight of Sylvia through the window, already sitting at her desk.
I wondered if she had finished her meal already, but then I realized I hadn’t seen her in the cafeteria at all.
Sylvia, who had never once skipped a proper lunch, was already sitting in the classroom... It likely meant she had skipped her meal today.
As I thought about this, I saw Sylvia let out a sigh.
Her expression was heavy with worry.
I couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling that I was the cause of Sylvia’s distress.
It felt like something heavy was pressing down on my chest.
In truth, if I wanted to create some distance between us as I had planned, it would’ve been better to ignore her... but guilt prevented me from doing so. I couldn’t help but turn toward the school store, where I bought some snacks and a macaron before heading back to the classroom.
“...Sylvia, take this.”
“...Oh, Scarlet? This is...?”
When I placed the items I’d bought on Sylvia’s desk, she looked up at me with a dazed expression, as if she couldn’t understand what was happening.
I gently pushed the things I bought into her arms and replied.
“...I don’t know what’s on your mind, but you shouldn’t skip meals. If you don’t eat anything, it’ll affect your health, so please have something.”
“...Did you buy this for me? Because you thought I skipped lunch...?”
Sylvia looked up at me with a slightly surprised expression, her eyes filled with deep guilt.
Was she really feeling this sorry for forcing me to move houses?
I didn’t want her to feel this guilty—I was fine with it.
It was just like Sylvia, with her kind heart, to be so upset, but there was no need for her to harm her health over it. So, I told her, hoping she could let go of her guilt.
“I wanted to tell you earlier when you apologized, but you don’t need to feel sorry for me. I don’t blame you for what happened. I’m really okay, so please don’t worry about it anymore. Okay?”
I smiled at Sylvia, trying to reassure her that I was truly fine.
She murmured in a small voice.
“...How can I not worry? I did something so terrible to you... Why is Scarlet always so kind to me...?”
“I told you, I don’t think it was a terrible thing. Now, enough of that—just eat something. You must be hungry.”
After some hesitation, Sylvia finally picked up a piece of bread from the bag and took a bite, looking a bit embarrassed as she slowly nibbled on it.
As I watched her, Sylvia suddenly looked startled and stared at the shopping bag I was holding.
“...Um, Scarlet. What’s that?”
“Oh, this? Florene gave it to me as an apology gift. It’s some cosmetics. Why do you ask?”
“...I don’t know, it just gives me a weird feeling...”
Seeing Sylvia look at the shopping bag with a slightly displeased expression, I chuckled wryly.
“You think it’s weird too, right? This isn’t something that suits me at all. Apparently, these are really expensive cosmetics, so it feels like a waste. I have no interest in makeup, so it would’ve been better if someone like you, who suits these things more, had gotten them instead. Haha...”
Honestly, it was strange.
I mean, cosmetics? Of all things?
For someone like me, who had only ever applied skin lotion and camouflage cream, cosmetics felt like the most unsuitable thing imaginable—a troublesome item to deal with.
But Sylvia mumbled, looking somewhat dissatisfied.
“...What do you mean it doesn’t suit you?”
“Huh? Well, I’ve never used makeup before and I don’t plan to, so...”
“...Scarlet, how can you be like this?”
Sylvia glared at me with an angry expression as she said this.
...Did I say something wrong?
I started to feel nervous as I watched Sylvia, who then shouted at me.
“Scarlet! It’s good that you care about others, but you should care about yourself too! There’s a limit to how selfless someone can be—you should be a little selfish! You always buy things like macarons for me, but you never eat anything yourself! Why do you do that? You don’t mind spending money on others, but you hesitate to spend any on yourself?”
“Well, I... that’s...”
“What do you mean makeup doesn’t suit you?! You’ve never tried it? That’s because you’ve never bought any! And you always wear the same plain clothes unless they’re the ones I bought for you! I get that things might’ve been tough for you before, but surely you have things you want to do too! Now that you have some money, don’t hold back—spend some on yourself! It’s so frustrating to watch that it makes me angry!”
Sylvia, now furious, suddenly stood up and grabbed my shoulders.
With tears welling up in her eyes, she pleaded with me.
“...Please, I’m begging you, take better care of yourself, more than you do for others...”
When Sylvia spoke to me with such earnestness, I couldn’t help but nod, regardless of how I truly felt.
After a few deep breaths, Sylvia sat back down, casting a conflicted glance at the shopping bag I was holding before sighing and mumbling to me.
"...Scarlet, I’m sure makeup would look good on you."
Of course, I couldn’t bring myself to nod in agreement with that statement.
It’s not like it’s some kind of punishment, but there’s no way I’m doing that.
*
“I’m home.”
I said as I opened the door and stepped inside after finishing my classes, but of course, there was no response.
Yoon Si-woo wouldn’t be back for a week, so I was the only one in the house.
Sighing in disappointment, I headed to my room and began unpacking, tossing the shopping bag with the cosmetics into a corner.
I wouldn’t even look at that until I decided to either sell it or get rid of it.
Having made up my mind, I went to the living room with the kitchen attached and started preparing dinner.
With Yoon Si-woo not around, naturally, I made stir-fried bean sprouts.
If anyone saw, they might wonder why I was eating it again and ask if I ever got tired of it, but at this point, I’d welcome having it for all three meals every day.
No, maybe that would be better for me.
Someone once said that while you can’t relive memories, you can revisit the taste of those memories through cooking.
At least while I was eating this dish my mother used to make, I could recall the most peaceful and happiest times of my life.
I found myself thinking of my mother.
What would she say if she saw me now?
Would she be sad to see me struggling?
Or would she praise me for holding on and doing my best despite the hardships?
I hoped it would be the latter as I finished the stir-fried bean sprouts cleanly.
After washing the dishes and taking a shower, I realized it was already night.
It was a bit early, but I lay down on my bed.
The bed, which I had bought not too long ago, was incredibly comfortable, worth every penny.
As I lay there, I recalled the conversation I’d had with Sylvia earlier.
I wanted to show her this bed, to tell her that I do indulge myself sometimes.
Yes, indulge.
A bed is meant to help you sleep comfortably.
So for me, a bed was indeed a luxury item.
After all, you have to be able to sleep for a bed to be useful, right?
I let out a bitter laugh and sat up.
Sleeping is supposed to give your mind a break.
But without someone by your side to help you relax, trying to rest your mind was too much of a luxury for me right now.
So, I couldn’t sleep.
With Yoon Si-woo gone, I had to stay mentally sharp.
The only night of the week when I could allow myself a good night’s sleep was when Yoon Si-woo was here.
The reason I bought this bed was simply so I wouldn’t make him worry unnecessarily.
In fact, I had thought about buying it in installments as I had before, but I ended up paying for it all at once because I wasn’t sure how much longer I could keep living like this.
It would be a real nuisance if I died suddenly while still making payments.
But still, I’ll endure as long as I can.
As long as my mind can hold on.
I won’t give in.
As I resolved to make it through the long night, I began counting sheep.
“One sheep... Two sheep...”
And then,
“Fifteen thousand six hundred and thirty-two sheep...”
By the time I got that far, I think morning had come.
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ReplyDeleteI really wonder, how much longer can she keep this up for.
ReplyDeleteI guess it depends on what the next arc would be. If it's stressful enough, she may just snap.
Man, it'd so sad if it ends with Scarlet becoming the Witch of Wrath and Si-Woo end up killing her as they've foreshadowed.
ReplyDeleteHow come every Siwoo ends up with a TS girl and lives in the same house with the girl because of special circumstances?
ReplyDeleteSorry, but what do you mean? I am curious
DeleteThere's another character named Si-Woo who's the male lead of another TS series "Just because I have narrow eyes, it doesn't make me a villain", in tat the MC lives in the same house with the ML just like in this novel due to special circumstances. I'm saying it's kinda weird it happened twice.
DeleteAshbornTL, what's the Chapter release schedule?
Delete1/day, and bonus for every review
DeleteDude are you human????
DeleteSleep deprivation on top of all of that bs, girlie. Is you serious?
ReplyDeleteI wonder if the MC will ever accept herself as a girl physically since his/her mindset hasn't really change much on that aspect. If he wants to remain masculine, I feel like his actions are contradicting himself. It would also suck when Si-woo confesses and he has the same mentality. Then again this MC is really dense...either way, thanks for the chapter, I'm obsessed with this.
ReplyDeleteLol, I thought she would go and sleep in Si-woo's bed.
ReplyDeleteThat would be Arte, she likes to sniff siwoo clothes
DeleteShe lives for 20years as a man and suddenly turn to woman after transmigration for 3 month, of course she cant change her mind immedietly... The only thing in her mind is not to hurt anyone because of her
ReplyDelete