Join us on Discord
Click Here

Chapter 70: Academy Heroine's Right Diagonal Back Seat

Chapter 70



Three years.


It wasn’t exactly a short amount of time, if you really think about it.


But knowing it was all the time I had left to live made it feel unbearably short.


Who wouldn’t be shocked to be told they only had three years left to live?


Even if everything went well and the world didn’t end, my end was already decided.


I wouldn’t be able to keep my promise to Eve-sensei about not dying…


But that didn’t mean I planned to give up and do nothing.


If I failed to prevent the events from the original story, most people in this world would die within those three years.


No matter how my end turned out, I didn’t want to let the people I met in this world go through that.


At least, I wanted everyone around me to be safe in my final moments.


So, I’m okay.


As I repeated this to myself, I heard a voice.


[Really?]


It was a voice I started hearing after dreaming about the burning laboratory.


[You’re not actually okay, are you?]


I recalled what I had heard today.


The Witch of Wrath, the experiment created from her heart shard.


[You’re struggling to contain your hatred for the world that made you this way, aren’t you?]


This voice was probably the consciousness of the witch lingering in that heart shard.


I knew what would happen if I listened to it; I had seen it in my dreams.


[Why not stop holding back and burn everything down?]


Just like how I had lost control and burned down the laboratory, I would end up burning everything around me without realizing it.


And at the end of that, I would likely burn myself too.


So, I ignored it.


I had no intention of listening to the voice of a crazy witch.


Why was it suddenly speaking up now, after being quiet all this time?


As I complained internally, the witch's voice echoed again.


[Really? Do you really think I’ve been quiet all this time? Really? Really?]


The incessant repetition of "really?" in the witch's voice irritated me.


I grumbled inwardly.


I’ve never heard your voice before.


Then, as if finding something amusing, the witch’s laughter rang out.


[Ahaha, you really don’t remember. Interesting. What happened?]


As the witch’s voice reverberated, a part of my consciousness flinched.


For the first time, I felt it.


A presence that wasn’t me, hidden in my consciousness.


The mystery I had been pondering was finally solved.


If there had always been a person named Scarlet Evande, where had her consciousness gone?


The witch, still laughing, muttered as if fascinated.


[Aha, I see. She was quite dedicated. She took on the memories of me so you wouldn’t have to struggle. That’s not right. I’m helping you be honest with your inner rage.]


She hadn’t died or disappeared.


Scarlet Evande had been with me all along.


[Here, I’ll return your memories.]


With that voice, memories flooded back.


‘I hated the world.’


The voice that had echoed since I came to this world.


‘So shall you become.’


The vision in my dreams of everything burning around me.


The searing pain of my body burning each time.


The urge to burn everything down, consumed by rage.


‘Let’s burn it all. Everything you hate. The world you hate.’


Jessie’s cries and the lifeless body of the squad leader on the ground.


Myself, wrapped in flames, ready to burn even them.


‘...No.’


Desperate resistance, holding on somehow.


Memories so painful I couldn’t understand how I had forgotten them returned to me.


...Shit, no wonder I’ve been hearing things.


No matter how tough the situation was, the mental strain was far beyond what I had imagined, largely due to the stress from these things.


Even the pain from having a knife stuck in my hand or my arm cut off seemed bearable, perhaps because I had already experienced the agony of my body burning countless times without realizing it.


Had the consciousness of Scarlet Evande made me forget these memories all this time?


If I had remembered them while having no one to rely on, I might have crumbled completely.


At least, what she did had certainly helped me.


I had been indebted to her without knowing it.


So, I had to repay that debt.


Focusing my consciousness, I listened to Scarlet Evande’s voice.


A weak, faint voice.


But I could clearly hear what she wanted.


She had probably been wishing for this one thing all along.


Maybe it had even influenced me.


So what she wished for was what I wished for too,


I spoke to her.


I promise.


Scarlet Evande would become someone who protects others.


For that reason alone, she couldn't afford to sit idly by.


So, I ignored the turmoil in my mind, constantly repeating to myself,


I’m okay.


[You’re not being honest.]


Ignoring the voice that echoed in my head.


\*


[Ding ding ding~ Good morning~ Ding ding ding-]


The alarm sounded, a noise I hadn’t heard in a long time.


It was a sound I used to despise, but hearing it again after so long, it felt oddly comforting.


Reaching out slowly, I fumbled to turn off the alarm by my bedside.


Opening my eyes, I saw the familiar ceiling above me.


Maybe Yoon Si-woo or Sylvia had brought me home.


I tried to get up, but my arms gave out, and I flopped back onto the bed.


My head was foggy, and my body felt weak.


I was in terrible shape.


I thought about going to school and checked my phone, but it turned out I didn’t have to go today.


At least that was a bit of good news.


As I lay in bed, I heard the sound of rain pouring down.


Looking out the window, I saw it was raining heavily.


My lethargy was probably due to the rain.


I had always hated the rain.


Ever since I was young, rain would bring my mood down like this.


People who claimed to like the rain, saying things like, ‘It hides my tears,’ and walked in it without an umbrella, always seemed crazy to me.


If they had ever tried to work in a flooded drain or woken up to a leaking roof, they would never say such things.


...Well, there was actually another reason why I hated the rain.


Lying in bed, watching the rain fall outside, reminded me of my mother.


In my memories, my mother was always smiling.


After my father disappeared, she worked tirelessly to raise me alone, always making sure I had meals no matter how busy she was.


Despite her hard life, when asked if she was tired, she would always smile and say, “Mom is fine.”


She was a strong woman who would lie and say she preferred chicken breast over drumsticks just so I could have the drumsticks.


She was foolish enough to hide her illnesses until she nearly collapsed, not wanting to burden me.


The day my mother collapsed, it was raining, just like today.


The doctor told me that when cancer spreads through the body, the pain is usually so severe that most people can’t move.


But my mother worked until she nearly collapsed, in a condition where it wouldn’t have been strange for her to be bedridden.


She didn’t want to worry me and didn’t want to spend money on hospital treatments.


When I heard my mother was in critical condition while I was serving in the military, I rushed out on leave. Initially, I was going to scold her for enduring the pain.


Until I saw my mother lying in her hospital bed.


She was much more emaciated than the last time I saw her.


But despite the unbearable pain and the fear of dying, she smiled brightly when I walked in.


That smile was just like when she was healthy.


Instead of getting angry, I couldn’t say anything.


My mother had a saying she often repeated.


Smiling not only makes you happy but also makes those around you happy.


And my mother only ever showed me her smiling face.


Knowing that her smile wasn’t for her own happiness but for mine, all I could do was cry.


Seeing me cry, my mother slowly extended her pinky finger and said,


‘Mom wants to see her son smile, not cry. I’ll be watching from the sky, so even if I die, don’t cry and live with a smile, okay?’


Even at her death, she was thinking about me.


She wanted me to live happily, smiling, in the future.


That’s the kind of person my mother was.


Though I was someone who cried a lot, my mother wanted to see me smile.


So I hooked my pinky finger around hers and forced a big smile.


My mother smiled, relieved.


And so, my mother’s last memory in my mind was of her smiling.


When my mother’s hand grew colder than raindrops in summer, I spoke.


I promised her that from tomorrow, I would definitely keep my promise, but I asked for just one day.


Though the clouds cleared outside, it rained all day long that day.


Since then, holding back tears had become routine.


Unfortunately, I wasn’t as strong as my mother, so not crying was the best I could do in tough times.


It’s not easy to be like my mother, smiling no matter how hard things got, for the sake of others’ happiness.


I looked out at the rain through the window.


My reflection faintly showed in the glass.


Seeing that I wasn’t smiling, I used my hands to pull the corners of my mouth up.


That’s a bit better.


As I was thinking that, I heard a knock on the door.


I wanted to open it, but I had no strength.


After struggling for a bit, the door opened on its own.


“...”


Sylvia quietly entered the room.


Judging by her expression, she didn’t seem to like the rain either.




PREVIOUS | TOC | NEXT

Comments

  1. Wow this is rough, hope she goes through it, kinda wanna see the interactions when she goes berserk around others tho

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks for the chapters!
    Wow... What a cruel world dude

    ReplyDelete
  3. holy mother of GOD that was depressing

    ReplyDelete
  4. what a nasty prank by the god of this world

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hey! Who put onions here? ಥ⁠╭⁠╮⁠ಥ

    ReplyDelete
  6. I didn't expect liking this so much when I started reading this, now I am crying because of it u.u, thanks for the hard work!

    ReplyDelete
  7. This is just getting darker and darker.
    Not like i'm complaining, i'm just surprised at the extent.
    That being said...
    I can see the parallels between MC and the original person, also the differences.
    But, regardless, i'm wondering if MC's going to be able to hold on.
    Because although i can see where MC's mother's coming from with that perspective...
    It's not a healthy way to live. This much is clear just by seeing the consequences ​in both herself and MC's mental health.
    It's mostly a cultural thing that's taken to the extreme on asian society.
    Collectivism, as any other current of thought, has its advantages and its disadvantages.
    In our current era, i would say it's showing the latter.
    The pressure to fit in, to not bother anybody, etc is huge.
    That takes a toll on people.
    There's a reason the suicide rates are so high in those countries., it's not
    ​a coincidence.
    In such a bleak world and situation, MC will have to be very strong-minded.
    And currently i can't say things are looking up in that respect.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ahh the alarm comeback... So I think she back to herself now, I feel different when read after the witch of wraith speak its like MC get personality change and alarm gone somewhere

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Join us on Discord
Click Here