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Chapter 116: Academy Heroine's Right Diagonal Back Seat

Chapter 116



Along with the flowing blood, the strength drains from my body.


My heart, no longer able to function, gradually stops beating.


Like a dying candle, my consciousness fades away.


The pain and noise gradually disappear.


It's a sensation I've experienced many times already.


A momentary death, where I feel nothing at all.


Experiencing death is terrifying, no matter how many times it happens.


Because that brief moment when I feel nothing is so comforting.


It makes me want to let go of everything and stay like this.


But I desperately force myself to erase those thoughts that unknowingly rise in my mind.


To live firmly


And to be happy while alive


That's the promise I made.


---


Slowly, consciousness returns.


Noise creeps into the once-quiet world.


Noisy.


I mutter to myself to keep it down and give my head a good smack.


With the pain, the noise decreases a bit.


But still, the noise doesn't disappear.


Noisy, noisy, nois...


Huh, was it noisy?


No, it's quiet.


It was quiet.


As I lift myself up and open my eyes, I see silence all around.


The kids, who were staring at me with indescribable expressions and tightly closed mouths, made no sound, not even a breath.


Perhaps they were shocked after witnessing me get stabbed to death.


Even though they saw me die plenty of times before, it seems they still aren't used to it.


As I ponder this, I see today's instructor, Martina, trembling with a shocked face and muttering to herself.


“I... I just wanted them to fight each other... That was all...”


I caught Martina's gaze as she muttered.


Startled, she shivered and approached me, her voice trembling.


“Are you... okay? No, you can't be okay. Damn it...”


Martina's face showed concern as she questioned and answered herself.


She probably felt a sense of responsibility because of what happened during the training.


Since she didn't know exactly what happened inside, it was natural for her to think that an accident had occurred because of her.


I had been conscious of what was happening outside.


Since this wasn't something I could share with others, I spoke in a low voice, only loud enough for Yoon Si-woo to hear.


I had asked Yoon Si-woo to stab my heart, making it look like I wasn't defending myself properly, so from the outside, it probably seemed like I got stabbed because I was careless.


But seeing her reaction made me feel slightly guilty, even though it was something I did voluntarily.


I opened my mouth to relieve her of any sense of responsibility.


“Um... It's okay. I'm used to dying during training.”


“...Don't lie. No one can get used to that... No matter how tough Miss Eve's classes are, she wouldn't put freshmen through something so intense.”


“Well... The regular classes aren't like that, but during that special class last time...”


“...Hey, even if you died a lot in one day, the limit would be about two or three times. I almost died five times in a row during those hellish classes when I talked about early graduation, and even I wouldn't say I'm used to it...”


“Well... It's more than five times, actually...”


Martina asked skeptically.


“...How many times did you die on that day during the special class?”


After a moment's hesitation, I spread my fingers and held them out to her.


“...Really? Ten times? I don't believe it...”


I slowly shook my head at her words.


Martina, seeing this, bit her lip as if holding back something and then gently patted my head with a wistful expression.


“...You're lying because you feel bad, right? It's fine. It looks like you're trying to make me feel better, but there's no need. It's my fault...”


“No, that's not it... I meant ten times ten. I died over fifty times that day...”


When I corrected myself, Martina looked at me with an incredulous expression.


“...That doesn't make sense. Fifty times? Just go inside.”


“...But it's true...”


“Why are you so persistent? The kids would know how many times you died, right? How many times did he die?”


When I complained slightly, Martina turned to the kids with an exasperated look and asked.


Then, Mei, who had been watching with a stern face, muttered.


“...It's not fifty times.”


“See? Even the kids say it's not. Just go ins—”


“...He attempted the training exactly 78 times and succeeded at the end, so it's 77 times.”


“...Huh?”


Martina had a strange expression.


“...What? 77 times? Wait... Are you serious?”


Mei nodded her head.


Martina glanced around at the other kids, and they all nodded in agreement.


With a voice that trembled as if she had heard something shocking, she asked,


“How is that... No, who on earth did such a thing to a kid?”


“Well... It was Instructor Natalia Eloise.”


“Damn, Natalia, that crazy bitch. I knew she was mean, but I didn't think it was that bad...”


Martina shivered, then looked at me cautiously.


“...Are you in your right mind?”


Martina asked if I was in my right mind.


I almost nodded immediately, but then paused.


Huh? Come to think of it, am I in my right mind?


To be in one's right mind means to be in one's original, sound mental state.


But I'm currently in the body of Scarlet Evande, with a different consciousness.


So, can this be called being in my right mind?


It was quite a philosophical question when I thought about it. 


The question "Are you human?" that I once encountered when trying to access a website.


The question made me wonder, huh? Am I really human? It was as difficult a question as when I pondered it.


So, with my head bowed, I was contemplating whether I was in my right mind.


In front of me, I heard Martina's pitiful mutterings in a small voice.


"Because you don't seem afraid of getting hurt... It seems there was a problem because of that... What on earth have I done to such a poor child...?"


When I looked up, I saw Martina looking at me with a very pitiful expression.


Huh, am I being treated like someone who’s not in their right mind just because I didn’t answer?


Feeling a sudden sense of crisis, I quickly spoke to her.


"Uh, I'm completely sane. I'm totally fine."


“Yeah… I see… You must be…”


Martina’s voice, responding to my words, was full of pity.


This person wasn’t listening to me at all.


It seemed that in Martina’s mind, I was already a poor child who wasn’t in their right mind.


What on earth should I say to someone who thinks like that to prove that I’m sane?


As I was racking my brains, Martina muttered in a slightly angry voice.


“But seriously, Yoon Si-woo, someone who has the skills to never cause such unfortunate accidents… Could it be that he was distracted by strange thoughts...? If that’s the case, I should give him a piece of my mind…”


Martina muttered like that as she walked over to Yoon Si-woo, who had just come out of the spell.


Oh no, he just did what I asked him to do!


Thinking that Yoon Si-woo must not face any disadvantage because of me, I quickly ran towards Martina, grabbed her hand, and spoke.


“Please… don’t say anything to Yoon Si-woo. It’s my fault...”


“No, how could it be your fault? Even if you were at fault, the responsibility lies with us for not preventing it, despite having the ability to do so. And a subordinate’s mistake is also my responsibility... I’m really sorry. It’s… all my fault.”


I froze at her apology.


No, it’s truly my fault, but when they suddenly bow their head and apologize, I don’t know what to say!


While I was momentarily flustered, Martina straightened her back and went to Yoon Si-woo.


Ah, Yoon Si-woo, I'm sorry! Because of me!


"Yoon Si-woo, why did you do it? Were you distracted?" Martina said in a stern tone as she approached Yoon Si-woo, who was standing still with his head bowed.


Then Yoon Si-woo mumbled quietly with his head still bowed.


“...I’m sorry...”


“Is ‘sorry’ enough? I clearly told you to control your strength, and no matter how recklessly that student charged, you should have been able to subdue them without killing. Even though you are the same age, you are in the position of a hero. It’s certainly a mistake to have harmed someone not in the position of a hero due to your carelessness.”


“I’m truly… really sorry...”


Being scolded like that by a direct superior, and one who’s practically at the top of the hierarchy, just watching it made me break out in a cold sweat.


Yoon Si-woo couldn’t even raise his head, seemingly overwhelmed by the pressure.


Martina, finding this displeasing, immediately pointed it out.


“Yoon Si-woo, lift your head. Are you going to stay like that?”


At those words, Yoon Si-woo slowly raised his head.


And Martina's mouth closed as she saw his face.


Yoon Si-woo looked as if his soul had left his body.


Martina, seeming quite shocked by his appearance, was silent for a moment before letting out a deep sigh.


“...Yeah, you must be the most shocked. I’m just trash for having you do such a thing... Enough, I’ll continue the class from here on, so you go rest over there with that student...”


“...I’m sorry...”


At Martina’s words, Yoon Si-woo apologized weakly and walked towards the corner of the gymnasium.


Huh, did she just tell me to rest with him?


As I pondered this, I looked at Martina, who gestured toward the corner of the gymnasium with a face full of guilt, urging me to go rest.


...It seemed like I wouldn't be allowed to continue attending the class even if I asked...


I quietly walked to the corner of the gymnasium and sat next to Yoon Si-woo, who had his head buried between his knees.


Being forced to sit out...


I’ve never skipped training, even in the army...


Feeling somewhat empty, I blankly watched the other kids being trained and then glanced at Yoon Si-woo beside me.


He looked visibly exhausted.


...Honestly, I realized I had asked for something unreasonable.


Even I would be more than shocked if I had to stab a friend to death.


With the thought that I should apologize, I lightly tapped Yoon Si-woo’s shoulder, who had his head buried on his knees.


Yoon Si-woo slowly raised his head.


Seeing him up close, his eyes were completely out of focus.


It seems I really went too far.


So I was about to apologize and say I was sorry, but then I remembered something Yoon Si-woo had said to me once.


"Hey, Yoon Si-woo... We're still friends, right?"


At my question, Yoon Si-woo slowly nodded.


That was a relief.


I was worried that today’s events might have made him want to stop being friends with me...


So I smiled in relief and said to Yoon Si-woo.


“Hey, about today. Thank you. I just wanted to say that.”


Yoon Si-woo had once told me that you don’t say sorry to a friend.


So I expressed my genuine gratitude to him for granting my unreasonable request.


Then, Yoon Si-woo's face twisted as if he might cry any moment.


...Maybe Yoon Si-woo doesn't really like being friends with me.



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Comments

  1. Yeah, she's definitely not sane. But, she's managed to hit a weird balance that has her running parallel to sanity. Simulates it pretty well.

    ne dried frog pill away from being

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    Replies
    1. *One dried frog pill away from being functionally the same.

      Delete
  2. If you told me when I first started reading this novel I would feel serious sympathy for Si-Woo I'd say you're crazy, but here we are

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    Replies
    1. Imagining yourself in that situation would be hell dude...

      Delete
  3. Bitch. Bitch! You is fucking torturing the guy tf chu mean

    ReplyDelete
  4. I really wonder if it will ever be possible for the MC to acknowledge Si-woo love for her. I hope she doesn't remain dense for too long.

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  5. Courting her is definitely a trial by fire

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  6. before she accepted her death in 3 years she already looked insane with a lot of stress lol but after accepting her death time she became even more insane by giving up everything by helping people before her death LOL

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  7. I wouldn't say she's sane at this point.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Calling Scarlet 'sane' is the same as calling Ted Bundy an 'average guy'

    ReplyDelete

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